Wouldn't it be wonderful if we agreed all the time? Or perhaps not. Being able to disagree respectfully and effectively with the people you work with is a key skill. This is particularly crucial in environments like schools, where collaboration and teamwork are essential for success.
My perspective is not solely based on my experiences as a leader (I'm proud that my team culture fosters respectful disagreement). There are also times when I have found myself in disagreement with school leaders and colleagues. The ability to manage these discussions constructively can significantly impact your career trajectory.
I have observed that securing desirable roles, such as prime yard duty slots, autonomy in the classroom, or opportunities for advancement, often hinges on the ability to foster others' positive perceptions. This is sometimes even more crucial than putting in the most effort or working the hardest.
No one enjoys having their ideas dismissed or being told that their proposals are unworkable, so here are my top tips for navigating disagreement:
Avoid cliches like 'we've tried that before (and it doesn't work)'. When you express that something has been tried in the past and failed, it can come across as pessimistic or resistant to continuous improvement and innovation. It is more effective to acknowledge the past experiences while suggesting new approaches or improvements.
Pick your battles! If this is a minor task or short-term initiative, then maybe you can go along with it or achieve the same outcome in your own way. Perhaps team up with someone who is enthusiastic about the idea and let them take the lead.
It is beneficial to take a moment to pause and reflect on the underlying reasons for your disagreement. This reflection allows you to formulate a response that is not just a simple rejection but rather a constructive critique that can lead to a more productive dialogue. For example, instead of bluntly stating, 'that won't work,' try to provide specific reasons or alternatives that could lead to a better outcome.
Rather than questioning someone's judgment with, 'what are you even thinking? Have you met my students?!' (I have bitten my tongue on this thought many times.) You might reframe your response to highlight your unique insights into your students' needs. Foster a more collaborative atmosphere by offering alternative suggestions.
Know when to stop. Check the body language of the person you are talking to and listen to their tone of voice. By being attentive to the verbal and non-verbal cues, you can have a respectful disagreement. It's also important not to diminish the validity of your concerns by continuing the discussion longer than necessary.
Here are a few major do-not's that should be kept in mind:
Throwing things or displaying frustration physically is never acceptable and will severely damage your professional standing.
Going above your direct manager can undermine trust and lead to a breakdown in communication. It is essential to maintain a working relationship with your leaders.
Threatening to quit should be reserved for situations where you are genuinely prepared to follow through. If you make such a threat casually, be aware that your employer may take you seriously and accept your resignation.
I emphasise these points because I have witnessed firsthand how they can lead to disastrous outcomes for the individuals who reacted to initiatives this way.
One final note, I am not suggesting that you should sugarcoat or downplay serious concerns, nor should you acquiesce to unreasonable demands. The tips I have shared are particularly relevant to those routine suggestions or decisions that you may not fully agree with. By employing effective disagreement strategies, you can express your viewpoints in a way that not only maintains your professional relationships but also encourages a culture of open dialogue and collaboration within your school.
To foster positive opinions with school leaders and colleagues, mastering the art of effective disagreement is an essential skill. Book an online mentoring session for help expressing yourself effectively at school.
