There's that saying 'each dysfunctional family is dysfunctional in its own way.' (author Michael C. Perkins).
I think, to some extent, that applies to bad bosses and negative workplace cultures too.
Through my years as an employee, across multiple countries, decades and industries, I've encountered some amazing managers, principals and co-workers. But I've also had a few that made the workplace somewhere I didn't want to be. Here are some of the types of problematic bosses (or co-workers) I've identified and how I handled their behaviour and its impact on me. Share your experiences (without naming names) in the comments below.
The Joker
This is the person who makes unprofessional or inappropriate comments, then laughs it off as a joke. If you believe their behaviour involves harassment or discrimination of any kind, talk to a manager or HR person you feel safe with. The advice for dealing with inappropriate 'jokes' is usually to call the person's behaviour out, either at the time or in a separate conversation. But if the Joker is your manager or above you in the school hierarchy, it can be particularly difficult to confront them about their behaviour. My strategy is to not laugh at the joke, avoid eye contact when they're looking around the room for fellow jokers and talk to HR or another manager about the problematic behaviour.
The Bitter Pill
I've worked with people who are jaded about their job or who bring their angry-self to work. This is not someone whose attitude or behaviour has gone from upbeat and engaged to negative - that could be a prompt for an 'RUOK' conversation. These are teachers and leaders who consistently have nothing positive to say. They might be risk-adverse or unwilling to try something new, and they can impact the mood in the staff room as well as the tone and productivity of meetings. I'm generally an optimist and quite empathetic so I start by replying to their negativity with a positive suggestion or a reality check. I can only do that so many times before I'm tapped out and then I avoid the person or the topics that set them off. If it's not possible to avoid them, I've grabbed the chance to join a committee or project outside their sphere of influence just to get some space and find something positive to focus on.
The Slacker
Sometimes the slacker is checked out of the job and doesn't care. This can be good if you are their direct report because you can take autonomy and initiative for yourself. I've used that as a chance to start positioning myself to take their role when they leave. Other times, I've known slackers who are lazy and happy to take credit for others' work. This is infuriating and can be hard to manage. The way I've dealt with this is to attach my name to my work whenever possible (the footer is good for that). I include those above my boss (the Slacker) when I submit reports or presentations and make sure I am explicit in meetings when describing my contributions.
In dealing with bad bosses, it can be hard not to fall into some of the same patterns of behaviour. The feeling of frustration, lack of agency and dissatisfaction can permeate your own relationships at work and at home. So this is a reminder for myself: check yourself so you don't become a bad boss or curmudgeonly colleague who's adding to the problem!
Find positive moments, talk to your support network and follow a hobby or passion outside work that makes you happy.
Comment below if you've had a different kind of bad boss (or curmudgeonly colleague). Book a one-on-one session if you want to talk about strategies for managing your unique circumstance.
Further Reading
